How to respond to eating disorder urges
Having an eating disorder urge is the worst feeling ever. And sometimes it can feel really challenging to say no to an urge, whether it be the urge to restrict, compensate, purge, binge, relapse, etc.
In this blog, I’m going to share tools from Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) that can help you when you’re experiencing an urge. I’ve used these to navigate my own recovery, and they’ve helped a lot.
These all have to do with distress tolerance, meaning how can we cope in moments of distress without giving into eating disorder urges.
All of these are from this amazing DBT website I found, but I re-ordered them and chose ones that have helped me personally in my eating disorder journey. Each tool actually has worksheets and instructions on how to do each one, so I’ll link them all.
So, here we go:
1. Recognize an Emotional Crisis
Start to detect when an emotional crisis is coming. We usually have patterns of emotions, thoughts, and behaviors that are similar in moments of distress / when we have an urge. By starting to identify these, we can prevent them in the future. You can read these instructions and worksheets for more.
2. Run a Cost Benefit Analysis
Is giving into the urge worth it? The answer is no. It never is. Giving into the urge keeps you entangled in the eating disorder, and it won’t fix anything. It won’t fix your current situation. What are you actually feeling? What do you actually need right now? You can read these instructions and worksheets for more.
3. Distract Yourself
Make a list of distracting activities to use when you are approaching an emotional crisis / urge. This may be doing a puzzle, watching a show, going on a walk outside, calling someone, etc. You can read these instructions and worksheets for more.
4. RESISTT Technique
In this order, 1) Reframe the situation (change your perspective), 2) Engage in a distracting activity, 3) focus on Someone else, 4) experience Intense sensations (cold, heat, safe sensations), 5) Shut out the urge by leaving the environment around you, 6) focus on neutral Thoughts (like counting to 10 or observing your environment) 7) Take a break (put off chores / work, etc). You can read these instructions and worksheets for more.
5. Ground Yourself
Reconnect with the present moment. You can do this describing what you see, deep breathing, or feeling your feet. You can read these instructions and worksheets for more.
6. Self Sooth
Use your five senses to help reduce emotions that feel out of control. For sight, maybe you watch a safe show. For hearing, listen to your favorite song or call your mom. For smell, put on your favorite perfume or use essential oils. For taste, suck on a hard candy or drink a warm drink (if not triggering, of course). For touch, take a shower or wrap up in a blanket. These are all examples. You can read these instructions and worksheets for more.
7. Radically Accept the Situation
Learn how to become accepting of the reality without feeling intense emotions / urges. I don’t know about you, but I’ve often felt urges when I’ve felt out of control. Like I couldn’t control the situation I was in or what other people were doing. Radical acceptance for me meant starting to talk to myself about how it’s ok that the situation was out of my control. That life isn’t perfect and that’s ok, and that I can’t control my environment all the time or what others do. It’s not fighting the situation but accepting it, and knowing you’re doing your best to navigate your current situation. You can read these instructions and worksheets for more.
I really hope these help you in navigating really tough moments of distress when you might have an urge to engage in an ED behavior. You’re not alone, and I’m sending you so much love!
xx tori