How to deal with food guilt in eating disorder recovery
Food guilt is one of the most uncomfortable feelings in eating disorder recovery. Those going through recovery often experience food guilt in response to eating more regularly, eating a bigger meal than usual, trying new foods, and trying fear foods. It’s also a very individual experience – so what makes one person feel guilty may not bother someone else struggling with an eating disorder.
In this blog, I will be providing you tips on how to cope with food guilt in the moment during eating disorder recovery. I’ll be sharing exactly what I do when I experience food guilt. This is what works for me 😊
*Note: This is in addition to working closely with a therapist and dietician for personalized guidance and support. I find that having a meal plan can help reduce anxiety around food choices and quantity. I still work with a dietician who created a meal plan for me based on my specific needs in recovery. So, whenever I find myself overthinking food, I always say: “Fall back on meal plan. Complete meal plan. That’s the foundation.”
(FYI - the PlateByPlate Approach is a great resource for those who don’t have a dietician.)
So, now on to how I approach food guilt…
Let me give a hypothetical example to help with this. Let’s say I’m eating a brownie sundae for dessert one night, and all of a sudden I feel a sudden rush of guilt.
My brain starts spinning a bit.“You shouldn’t be eating this. This is bad for you. You’re going to have to make up for this somehow.”
So, here’s what I do…
1. STOP.
The STOP method is a mindfulness technique used to interrupt automatic thoughts or reactions, especially when dealing with stress, anxiety, or overwhelming emotions. It stands for: Stop, Take a Breath, Observe, and Proceed mindfully.
So, I just finished eating the brownie sundae, and it tasted amazing, but I am feeling guilty. What do I do? I slow down any thoughts or worries I am having, pause, and take a breath. I allow the guilt. I don’t judge it, and then I explore where it’s coming from and why…
2. Recognize the guilt is coming from a disordered place in your brain.
Guilt is a feeling, it’s not truth or reality. And specifically, food guilt comes from the eating disorder voice, not my authentic self. Think about it: the eating disorder voice is mean, manipulative, and always makes you want to come back to it. So, that voice that’s telling me I should feel guilty for eating the brownie sundae, it’s not actually my voice. It’s the eating disorder.
My authentic self is kind, understanding, and wants me to choose recovery. My authentic self knows that eating the brownie sundae is okay. I didn’t do anything wrong. It’s ok to eat brownie sundaes. It’s a part of being human.
3. Tell the eating disorder to shut up.
All the eating disorder voice does is lie. So the guilt it tries to make me feel is also a lie.
So, in this moment of feeling horrible about eating the brownie sundae, I would say “No, I won’t let you control me, ED. I know this is coming from you and not my authentic self. You are wrong.”
4. Tell the eating disorder why it’s wrong.
Guilt should only come from committing a moral wrongdoing, and there is nothing you can do “wrong” when it comes to food choices. Diet culture may want you to think there are “good” and “bad” foods, but there aren’t. There are some foods that are more nutritious and less nutritious, but our body can process all these foods. It doesn’t reject them. It doesn’t see them as “bad.” Food is just food.
Let’s take this one step further…say the eating disorder voice isn’t making you feel bad for what you ate, but how much of it you ate. Say it’s not one brownie sundae, but you eat 3, or 4, or 10. “You should feel guilty because you’re going to gain weight,” it may say.
But here’s the thing: it is PHYSICALLY impossible to gain weight from one meal. And for those of us who are saying, “No but Tori, I binged on a meal and it was over X amount of calories which is 1 pound so I definitely gained a pound,” my response is that worrying about numbers or being guilty about anything you’ve done isn’t serving you.
The eating disorder is trying to use the guilt of eating a lot to try to trick you into restricting again, or to send you into a shame spiral, and then start the whole miserable cycle over again. Instead of allowing it to use this situation to its advantage, push back against it. Don’t let it make you feel guilty. Instead, accept that the situation wasn’t perfect, and learn from it. Guilt and shame will NOT serve you. It will only keep you in a toxic relationship with your eating disorder.
5. Finally, move on.
Eat normally, don’t compensate, don’t weight yourself, and seek support if needed.
After eating the brownie sundae, I carry on per usual the next day without compensating for what or how much I’ve eaten. This is the only way to prove to myself that nothing bad will happen from overeating or eating something that makes me uncomfortable.
I never weigh myself – ever. I think this helps. Because my weight cannot possibly equal my worth if I don’t know it. Let the dieticians, doctors, parents, etc. take care of that if it’s a health concern – we don’t need to worry about it.
Seek support if needed. Most of the time, I can move on from food guilt, but sometimes I feel a bit stuck. And that’s okay. If I still feel stuck, I may talk to someone close in my support system, journal, or speak to my therapist/dietician next time we meet.
I hope this blog on how I navigate food guilt in the moment is helpful. I know that everyone’s experience can be different in recovery, but this is what has worked for me.
Sending you love,
Xx tori
Read my blog on Tips for the holidays in eating disorder recovery.
Read my blog on What to do when eating disorder thoughts are loud.